Mean Girls

I find myself surrounded by artistic, intelligent, and opinionated women--by choice. The women in my family are capable of handling situations that I've seen others crumble under. Big Al has often told me that I let too many women "in." My friend Penny tells me that others sense "things about me" and are drawn to me. She has also told me to be careful because these "things about me" can be exploited by some. This brings me to my question. When a woman has been used by a female friend, how does she continue Marching Fourth?

Affirmations and love?

I had a friend, and we will call her V.  I met her at a former job.  I felt that she connected with me immediately.  I really wasn't sure why she connected with me because we were nothing alike.  On the other hand, I thought this was interesting.  V really wanted to get ahead in all aspects of her life.  In fact, she would often quote Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer throughout her day.  She had mantras.  V started to buy me books about healing my life and experiencing my good.  My good?  Well, why the hell not?  Can't hurt me.  She would also send at least one note a week to my home.  I thought this was endearing.  Who sends snail mail anymore?!?  Love it!

V left the company we were both working for, and she spent the next year looking for her "dream job."  Her words.  Not mine.  I was her reference.  I was her sounding board.  I was her patient listener.  Now, I am giving myself kudos here because I was a good friend.  V had always been there for me, so I was being a good friend in return.  She needed compassion.  

V got the call.  She also got the job!  She was so excited, and I was so excited for her.  It was with a large company, and it sounded like a great opportunity for her.  V was so excited that she wanted to bring me on board with her.  I resisted for months.  My goals and V's goals were never the same.  We were great friends, but again, we were also very different people.  Our values just weren't the same.  I talked about all of these things with her.  V thought that these things made us a dynamic team.  We made each other stronger.  Hmm...

I finally took the job.  There's really no eloquent way to say that the job sucked for me.  I just wasn't a good fit.   I couldn't understand why V thought I would be a good fit.  This was a great place for her, but it was like a social prison for me.  When I was told not to laugh so loud, I knew it was over.  I happen to like my laugh.  It sounds just like my grandma Goforth.  She was fabulous, and so is the laugh.  This was the end.  

I left.  It was a bit messy, and I can't get into that right now.  I have never heard from V since I walked out the door that day.  I have no closure.  I doubt V could give me any answers that would provide me with closure.  My guess is that V thinks I made her look bad and am a bad friend.  Was she one of the "others" that my friend Penny talks about?  I don't know.  

So, how do I March Fourth?  What do I do with these karmically tainted books and notes?  Burn them?  Throw them out?  Send them back?  I still haven't decided.  I will continue to seek out interesting women for friends.  I love being surrounded by females from all walks of life.  V didn't break me.  She's just a butt pothole on my journey.

So, why Marching Fourth?

As most people tend to do, I struggled with what to name my blog.  I went through many pages of brainstorming ideas.  I ran them through my husband, and he would veto them all.  Big Al is a critic.  I digress.  I kept wanting to find something that reflected who I am, where I've been, and where I'm going.  My last name is Goforth, which I absolutely love.  I love it so much that I refused to change it when I got married.  A lady doesn't do such things where I'm from.  I've also always loved that I was born on March 4th.  Goforth?  March Fourth?  Get it?  I'm marching forward!  Hence, Marching Fourth was born.


For the past 10 years, I have dedicated my career and life to higher education.  I was an English instructor at a small community college.  I loved it until I just didn't anymore.  It was hard to sit back and watch students slip through my fingers.  There were times that more could have been done, and then there were times that I had to just let them go.  It wears on a person.  Some say I gave up the good fight.  I say that I left to find other ways to help.


I am also a guardian ad Litem, which is more important to me than any paying job.  I am the voice and advocate for children who have been taken away from one or both parents.  I find myself reading some horrible court documents.  Some of them would make anyone's stomach turn; however, these children need an advocate.  I find satisfaction in this volunteer position because it has taught me to communicate with a diverse group of people and to understand that all families are different.  I also feel like I am making myself an active part of my community.


My life recently took a huge turn.  I had jumped ship as a college instructor and tried my hand at being a technology trainer for a large law firm.  Um, no.  Just no.  It just wasn't a good fit for me.  I always like to do any job well, but I think that people need to understand the impact of what they do or lack thereof.  As my friend Heather Kay likes to say, "Oh, honey.  We aren't fixing tiny baby hearts."  I moved on fairly quickly from this job and decided to explore other roads. 


As of now, I'm in the beginning stages of working on a children's series of books with a very talented friend of mine.  I'm dedicating myself to my poetry because it makes me smile.  I'm spending more time with family and friends.  I'm saying yes to more adventures.  For example, I will be on my way to Cali soon to visit another blogger friend of mine to work on a new project.  I have no idea what is in store for me and for Big Al.  All I know is that I have to "Goforth" and "March Fourth."  My name and birthday demand it.